I've tried to start a "year in review"-type post several times now, but there's nothing peppy and funny coming my way, because mostly, at this particular juncture, I am panicking about the impending doom of my car, and the fact that I haven't managed to find a job, which makes the possibility of living downtown under a freeway overpass in a cardboard box loom large. Additionally, generally speaking, I'm not the happiest person in the world, and even though, looking back over my year, I can see that my life is richly packed with beautiful friends, cool adventures, and the cutest monkeyboy and dog ever, I still haven't managed to heft myself out of the funk I've been enjoying for years. In those terms, 2004 is like other years: lots of cool stuff, still pretty sad, though; which probably means I'm hopeless. Another thing Bono was right about: nothing changes on New Year's Day. Meh.
There was an island of immense pleasure in the midst of this year in which I mostly worked in a hateful job or freaked out about unemployment and drove around in my f#%king car listening to it make noises that mean the end is nigh while losing my rag over a possible complete breakdown of cashflow. It's really been years since I've felt as happy as I did heading out of my communist apartment and walking through the little park in front of my building to catch the tram that took me along the Vltava River and into glorious wintery Prague. On the bright side, 2004 marks the year in which I finally took steps to do the thing I've dreamed of doing since forever: moving to Europe. If all goes according to plan, I will somehow survive here in Los Angeles (without ever seeing George W. Bush on the news) until the end of my son's school year, at which point I will go to the Tour de France in person, and then return to Prague to find a job and apartment, and have my son, my dog, and hopefully, most of my books, shipped on over by September. Having made the decision to leap, the struggling on that I must do between now and then, here in the land of the endless highway, is particularly difficult to cheer up over. I told you all that I would be bringing some of that "Meh! I want to move to Prague NOW!" noise, so don't be surprised. More to come, no doubt.
Still, (and not because I'm really in the habit of quoting him, but...) I feel like Dave Matthews was right when he said that the future's no place to place my better days, so I must buck up. Luckily, I have some punk-ass Hollywood hipster friends, and I'm going to be tagging along with just about the coolest crew in the world to see Mr. Johnso kick all kinds of butt at the Sundance Film Festival with a competently made little film called Brick that has a brilliant soundtrack. Maybe you've heard of it? That should be fun. And, I bet it's WINTER in Utah, which will give me a perfect opportunity to rock the fabulous cashmere lined black leather murdering gloves my monkey gave me for Christmas! Yesh!
In the meantime, I have an interview at a local language school tomorrow, where I may get an opportunity to ply my craft as a teacher of English, so let's all pray that my car makes it through another day, and wish me luck, because lately I can't get arrested, and I'm really feeling sorry for myself about it.
And the theme of this post is: Meh!